Simply living, as life would have it,
until they seized it.
Unrelenting, chained her freedom and broke it.
As she lost all she knew with a merciless taking,
abandoned and crippled,
empty of all but the aching.
Then left on her own to gather the ruin.
Could she grasp reality, was there an ounce of solidity?
I wonder if she cursed God.
Or if the chasm was too deep.
I imagine that everything meant nothing in that moment.
That yesterdays cares paled to gray and then disappeared.
I think about how she must have felt as she picked herself up.
Dirty knees, trying to breathe, as she carried herself home.
But the way that that she moves, and how God formed her differently,
though master crafted beautifully.
They just don’t see it, but I do,
and I step into her shoes as her torment becomes mine.
She drags herself home, where she doesn’t feel at home,
and pretends that today was just like every other day.
As the sun darkens and flowers fade.
Because all is vanity, said King Solomon, and now I get why he said it.
And then, when she felt the flutter.
That brief one there, in the middle, where a heart can’t beat on it’s own.
I wonder if she wept, in the face of uncertainty,
both morally and spiritually.
I think I would have.
So she hid it away, concealed him tight because beneath the wounds she loved him.
She was his mother, even if he wasn’t made by her choice.
And when she saw him, eyes meeting eyes, souls laid bare,
as she felt God’s favor and smiled with understanding.
And maybe it was then that she knew, that only in darkness can we truly see light,
as light is the victor, because light is Christ.
And Christ is the conqueror.
Our paths crossed, some years later.
And I saw he was special, even before I knew why.
I could see in the way he held tight his mama’s hand,
the way he soft spoke of wanting to become a man and care for her proper.
The way he loved, the way Jesus loves.
Through the ugly tearing of humanity, shredding of innocence,
came death and then life.
The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears,
And delivers them out of all their troubles.
The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart,
And saves such as have a contrite spirit.